Today is THE Day

Every girl has that one person that you want to fall in love with so badly, the guy that is your knight in shining armor, but you could never. You could never publicly fall in love with this guy. Well... the person I have truly known from birth is my guy. The guy I would do anything to marry. The guy that knows everything about my inside and out, and the guy I know every nook and cranny of. The guy that in my eyes would be the perfect husband and father. The guy that could provide everything for me, and even if he couldn't I would still be madly in love. The one guy that I can sit down and talk to him and not have to worry about impressing him or saying the right words.  

How could I ever bring my self to terms with talking to him about my secret feeling? Would it ruin our friendship? Would he suddenly judge me about everything I have previously told him about myself, now that he knows I love him? Would things he once comforted me on suddenly not be acceptable and ok? This is the ONE thing that no one knows about me. Not one single soul seriously knows how much I love this guy. We say I love you to each other every night after we talk... but I really mean it. 

So what now? What am I suppose to do? Do I talk to him about it? Or do I just go on knowing that their is someone else out there for me, but I just might not love them as much? 

He is visiting me this weekend and his flight gets in today. I can not express in words or even actions about how excited I am about seeing him. I want him to meet all my friends, I want him to see where I live, I want him to be happy to see me. Today is the day, maybe not the day to bring up to him how much I really do love him, but to see him and be in his arms for the first time in a LONG time. 

For now he is my "secret" guy. My mystery lover. And the man I will forever see at the end of the isle. 

But for today, and probably every other day of my life he will be that man I wish I could love.

Im just soaking up the way of Life

Lauren S